A Wrench Short of a Baker's Dozen

by Prainbork

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05:48
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06:14
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about

WHACKY, FUN, FAST, SILLY, SLAPSTICK, GREASY, FATTENING, LOUD.

credits

released March 14, 2012

Art Bertik-Marquez: Lead Vocals, Bass/Lead/Rhythm Guitars, Synth, Sound & Drum Programming.

Music written/composed/arranged/performed by A. Bertik-Marquez
Whacky 1/5th of a guitar solo on “Chicken Chops” performed by Keith Avelino;
ALL super-neat-o-doo-wop-sh'bop vocals by Evan Martin Wall on "Peanut Stomper";
Killer sax on “Mustard Donut” performed by very, special guest star AL LOWE! (www.allowe.com);
Atherial interlude riff on “Bacon Humper” composed by Felix A. Herrera (SIGILS/Binary Fields);
Chilling violins on “Medusa’s Child” by Monica “Dragon” Prunier;

All lyrics written by A. Bertik-Marquez and A.L. Alannis, except as follows: “Mustard Donut” lyrics written by K. Avelino; Additional lyrics THROUGHOUT album by S.D. Thunderclees; Additional lyrics on “Bacon Humper” and “Goat Milk Butter Pops” by Deadboy. “Acid Gumdrops” song title by DJ Yamilet. “Bonbon BBQ” song title by Deadboy. Whacky voice acting sketches throughout entire album written and voice acted by A. Bertik-Marquez and A.L. Alannis. Additional sketch writing/voice acting by S.D. Thunderclees. on "Goat Milk Butter Pops", "Acid Gumdrops" & "Bonbon BBQ". Additional sketch writing/voice acting by Deadboy on "Goat Milk Butter Pops".

Album Artwork by MANIC MERGANSER, S.D. Thunderclees & A. Bertik-Marquez.

Produced/Recorded/Engineered/Mixed by ART BERTIK MARQUEZ (ENTELODON STUDIOS)
Additional Production by JOSH NEWELL RECORDINGS.
Mastered by BRENT WISDOM (www.13oClockStudios.com).

All Songs Published by DISPERCHA MUSIC (ASCAP) © 2012 Prainbork. All Rights Reserved. Unauthorized copying, duplication, public performance, broadcasting, hiring, lending or rental of any or all of these recordings or images is prohibited, as provided by applicable law.

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about

Prainbork Los Angeles, California

Prainbork is an LA-based whacky, all over the place, scrambled-hard rock n' punk n' metal studio project founded by producer/metal guitarist Art Bertik Marquez, cartoonist/poet Manic Merganser and crochet artist/baker Darbie Thundercleese. Hang on tight! ... more

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Track Name: Brain Pork
BRAIN PORK

Verse 1:
Young one, where lie your shield? On the floor it lay
It's broken like the heart that won you many wars
I've seen that nothing would be clear by the crack of morning light

Verse 2:
In the morning feeling
the mice were squealing
Quick! and revealing diviner's parole
Warning master even faster
with the "Flogging Luster" burnt across his back

BRAIN PORK! BRAIN PORK!
Let's have brain pork sandwiches!
BRAIN PORK! BRAIN PORK!
Just like brain pork savages!
BRAIN PORK! BRAIN PORK!
Let's have brain pork lemon iced tea!
BRAIN PORK! BRAIN PORK!
Land of the free!

BRAIN PORK! BRAIN PORK!
Let's have brain pork sandwiches!
BRAIN PORK! BRAIN PORK!
Just like brain pork savages!
BRAIN PORK! BRAIN PORK!
Let's have brain pork lemon iced tea!
BRAIN PORK! BRAIN PORK!
Land of the free!

In the morning feeling
the mice were squealing
Quick! and revealing diviner's parole
Warning master even faster
with the "Flogging Luster" burnt across his back

Now its public peeling
for all the stealing
Quick! There's another! Catch him now!
Warning master even faster
with the "Flogging Luster" burnt across his back

(BRAIN PORK! backing gang vocals throughout)
Young one, where lie your shield? On the floor it lay
It's broken like the heart that won you many wars
I've seen that nothing would be clear by the crack of morning light

Prainbork © All rights reserved.
Track Name: Chicken Chops
CHICKEN CHOPS

Verse 1:
Post modernist, pork pianist
A simple chopstick revolutionist
Corn dog on a chain!
Who gives a f**k what I say in your brain?
Coney Island dog pound
All I f**kin' hear is f**kin' woof! woof!

Chorus:
CHICKEN CHOPS!
I chop my chicken with my chic karate chop
CHICKEN CHOPS!
Then I chop my chops of chicken with my chic's karate chop
CHICKEN CHOPS!
Then I chop my chicken chops just to chop again
CHICKEN CHOPS!
But this time I get so excited I need depends!

Verse 2:
Ham rapist
Escapist
F**ked with a fist
Now he's really pissed

Chorus:
CHICKEN CHOPS!
I chop my chicken with my chic karate chop
CHICKEN CHOPS!
Then I chop my chops of chicken with my chic's karate chop
CHICKEN CHOPS!
Then I chop my chicken chops just to chop again
CHICKEN CHOPS!
But this time I get so excited I need depends!

F**K YOU!
Track Name: Peanut Stomper (feat. Evan Martin Wall)
PEANUT STOMPER

Verse 1:
Making peanuts just to stomp them
I don't love them, I just want them
I like to touch them then I hurt them
Then I chop 'em up into pieces and bury them!

I'm so lonely just come join me
Stomping peanuts dusk till dawn
Wearing sandal wearing high heels
It don't matter even banana peels!

Listen to the bass playing with the drums
There's no guitars yet but we'll give you some
There's one on the right channel, left one coming soon
They're harmonizing a perfect 5th interval!

Chorus:
PEANUT STOMPER! PEANUT STOMPER!
Peanuts dancing in my room
PEANUT STOMPER! PEANUT STOMPER!
Soon to meet their crunchy doom
PEANUT STOMPER! PEANUT STOMPER!
I'll be dancing on their tomb
PEANUT STOMPER! PEANUT STOMPER!
Can't go wrong with crunchy doom! Peanuts!

Verse 2:
Listen to the bass again playing with the drums
This time their playing with palm muted guitars
Now they open up to blow your mind away
Who says that wannabe punk can't have harmonies?

Bridge:
EVAN MARTIN:
I'm so lonely when I'm picking peanuts without you
I'm so lonely when I'm stomping away without you
I'm so lonely I never want to stomp without you
My little peanut stomper

Outro:
PEANUT STOMPER! PEANUT STOMPER!
PEANUT STOMPER! PEANUT STOMPER!
Peanuts!

Prainbork © All rights reserved.
Track Name: Mustard Donut (feat. Al Lowe)
MUSTARD DONUT

Verse 1:
Caca peepee in your mouth
Snow cone beef treats make me hungry
Mouth pie cream vanilla wafers

Ice cream sandwich on my nipple
Soda flavored onion pickle
I like to hold change in my belly

Holy guacamole
Batman flavored necrophile
Red catholic schoolgirls

Hold the mustard - hold the mustard!

Chorus: MUSTARD DONUT! MUSTARD DONUT!

Bridge: Wow!

Chorus: MUSTARD DONUT! MUSTARD DONUT!

AL LOWE: Sweet, sexy, shredding sax solo!

Outro:
pig! pig! cop! cop!
bacon! bacon! chop! chop!
Salami! salami!
rot! rot! rot! rot!
pumpernickel! pumpernickel!
hot! hot! hot! hot!
pumpernickel! pumpernickel!

Chorus: MUSTARD DONUT! MUSTARD DONUT!

Prainbork © All rights reserved.
Track Name: Bacon Humper
BACON HUMPER

Verse 1:
There's a sale at the sandwich shop
Stacks and slabs of bacon slop
She tastes like porky-work and slicks of grease
I'll mash her in my mac n' cheese
She like's em crunchy - she likes 'em dark
Just like my vampiristic gothic emo heart
Come on down! She'll show you how
Pile drivin's a walk in the park

Chorus:
BACON HUMPER! BACON HUMPER!
FIRST YOU FEED HER THEN YOU PUMP HER!

Verse 2:
Two bucks a slab - three bucks a pop
I must've fallen off my grandma's tree top
Sandwich one to choose?
Sandwich one two choose - foreskin and seven years ago

Chorus:
[foreskin and seven years ago...]
BACON HUMPER! BACON HUMPER!
[what in tarnation?]
FIRST YOU FEED HER THEN YOU PUMP HER!
[now, where was i?]
BACON HUMPER! BACON HUMPER!
[ah forget it, I did!]
SHE'S A WHORE!

Bridge:
Thick! Greasy! Shove it in!
Bacon humping makes me grin!
In my eggs! In my sandwich!
In your ass! Like a manwich!
Pork rind! Pork grind! Ham slam!
Pack your bags and move out spam!
I dropped my cheese on the meat man's floor!
Got your fill? Cause' I want more!

SOPHIA TRIVINO: Bacon Humper!

Verse 3:
SOPHIA TRIVINO: I hump my bacon on the rack!
I'll even hit it from the back!
You can watch from the grocer's aisle!
So you can fruit off for a while!
Bacon humper!
Bacon humper!
Humper!
Bacon humper!
Bacon humper!
Humper!
Bacon humper!
Bacon humper!
Humper!
Bacon humper!
Bacon humper!

Prainbork © All rights reserved.
Track Name: Medusa's Child (feat. Monica "Darkovika" Prunier)
"MEDUSA'S CHILD"

Verse 1:
Been traveling pi long years
like norm from that show - cheers!
her soul is broken, her face is green, her shoes she got at seer’s
forever is nothing she feels
she questions what isn’t surreal
the sky has fallen – a skull and a snake – that bitch is really near

Prechorus 1:
CHILL! CHILL!
CHILL! CHILL!
CHILL! CHILL THE GRITS!
Bucking boars, their cud on the floor!
CHILL THE GRITS… I’ll be right back, ‘cause I’m going to the store!

Chorus:
MEDUSA’S CHILD! Throw her out the window!
MEDUSA’S CHILD! Beware her serpent hair!
A SLITHERIN’ CHILD! Something really mythical
MEDUSA’S CHILD! Avoid her stony stare!

Verse 2:
Now she’s 2000 years old
she betrayed our dear dark lord
now she will pay, she better pray,
her ketchup will spray by my wiener sword

Prechorus 2:
SPILL! SPILL!
SPILL! SPILL!
SPILL THE GREEN SARDINES!
Trucking ducks demanding their cuts!
PAY MORE! JUST F**KIN’ PAY MORE!
I’ll B-R-B, gotta go mini-putt!

[Chillin' violins by Darkovika]

Bridge:
o’ dark lord please help me to avenge your sores (x5)
avenge your sores (x2) ow!

Chorus:
MEDUSA’S CHILD! Throw her out the window!
MEDUSA’S CHILD! Beware her serpent hair!
A SLITHERIN’ CHILD! Something really mythical
MEDUSA’S CHILD! Avoid her stony stare!
MEDUSA’S CHILD! Throw her down the well!
MEDUSA’S CHILD! I told them to pull out!
A SLITHERIN’ CHILD! Spaghetti-head from hell!
MEDUSA’S CHILD! Who are those people who shout?!

Prainbork © All rights reserved.
Track Name: Beef Porridge
BEEF PORRIDGE

Verse 1:
A little less is always better than a little more
Eat it up, bite down, the forbidden core
Speak up if they make you swallow too much!
Or you'll be in a world of dolor!

Chorus:
BEEF PORRIDGE! BEEF PORRIDGE!
Open up - shove it in - suck it down
BEEF PORRIDGE! BEEF PORRIDGE!
Half off if you got a coupon
BEEF PORRIDGE! BEEF PORRIDGE!
Pass it up - cram it in - crap it out
BEEF PORRIDGE! BEEF PORRIDGE!
Can the mess and we sell it again

PostChorus:
Wow!
Open up - shove it in - suck it down
Half off if you got a coupon
Pass it up - cram it in - crap it out
Can the mess and we sell it again!

BRIDGE - guitar solo

Chorus:
BEEF PORRIDGE! BEEF PORRIDGE!
Open up - shove it in - suck it down
BEEF PORRIDGE! BEEF PORRIDGE!
Half off if you got a coupon
BEEF PORRIDGE! BEEF PORRIDGE!
Pass it up - cram it in - crap it out
BEEF PORRIDGE! BEEF PORRIDGE!
Can the mess and we sell it again

BEEF PORRIDGE! BEEF PORRIDGE!
It's the best darn deal in town
BEEF PORRIDGE! BEEF PORRIDGE!
Just ask your neighborhood clown
BEEF PORRIDGE! BEEF PORRIDGE!
As you eat don't you dare frown
BEEF PORRIDGE! BEEF PORRIDGE!
Or your fate will turn brown

Yeah turn brown!
Track Name: Goat Milk Butter Pops
GOAT MILK BUTTER POPS

Chorus 1:
GOAT MILK BUTTER POPS! They say they come from trees!
GOAT MILK BUTTER POPS! Is all you really need!
GOAT MILK BUTTER POPS! The cure for your disease!
BUY 'EM AT THE CANDY SHOP! Wow! Ugh!

[dialogue between mad folks: Sophie Trivino, Eric "Deadboy" Smolinski]

Chorus 2:
GOAT MILK BUTTER POPS! The cure for your disease
THE ONE YOU GOT FROM GOLDIE LOX! While she worked hard to please
GOAT MILK BUTTER POPS! For bruises and skinned knees
PIXIE STICKS AND BELLY FLOPS! Wow! *pelvic thrust*

BRIDGE: [dialogue between mad folks: Sophie Trivino, Eric "Deadboy" Smolinski]
[guitar solos]

OUTRO: [guitar solo]

Wow! *pelvic thrust*

Prainbork © All rights reserved.
Track Name: Ghosts of Gluttons
Verse 1:
WELCOME TO THE GHOST HOUSE!
"Hosted by the most ghosts that boast the most roasts!” said the Toast
THEIR MOUTHS!
Black holes sucking down the world and the sun
and stacks o’ flap jacks
n’ sacks o’ rib racks
n’ shacks o’ big macs
HOLY FUDGE! cake that is – I swear I didn’t swear!

Chorus:
Beware - BEWARE THE GHOSTS OF GLUTTONS!
the floating bread - BEWARE THE GHOSTS OF GLUTTONS!

Verse 2:
Sailing on a ship in a cup of tea...
In fancy little ghosts dresses we shall be…
Sorry but the office isn’t open at 3…
So I’ll have to wish you all a Merry Halloweeeeeeeen!

Bridge:
What a tragedy…
That your dreams are only dreams…
What a fallacy…
Shoved inside you by reality…

SHAKE THAT ASS! SHAKE THAT ASS!
SHAKE IT! SHAKE IT! Here we go!

Chorus:
BEWARE THE GHOSTS OF GLUTTONS!
BEWARE THE GHOSTS OF GLUTTONS!
BEWARE THE GHOSTS OF GLUTTONS!
BEWARE THE GHOSTS OF GLUTTONS!

Prainbork © All rights reserved.
Track Name: Acid Gumdrops
ACID GUM DROPS

Verse 1:
Falling from the sky
A shower of gum drops
It burns my tongue so sweetly
So chewy, so gooey – it reminds me to never give up my dreams
AIM HIGH! And climb the giant turd
CALLED LIFE! I wanna go where the
ACID! gum drops come from
I value your ideas, Inner Child!

Verse 2:
Life is for living and death is for dying
So make like a gumdrop and flap away flying
Wait a minute... Am I not living up to your dream?
F**K NO!
Hey! I asked you a question!
Am I not living up to your dream?
Well BOO FLIPPIN’ HOO! and F**K YOU TOO!
‘Cause yo’ Pooh ain’t ruinin’ this moose!

BRIDGE - guitar solos

Chorus/Outro:
ACID! Leads to indigestion!
GUM! Is Potterlet’s kryponite!
DROPS! Is what your eyeballs need!
ACID! GUMDROPS! What’d ya’ say?

ACID! Is what I didn’t do in college!
GUM! Is Potterlet’s phobia!
DROPS! Is what happens to your nuts!
ACID! GUMDROPS! Spell it for me!

A-C-I-D-G-U-M-D-R-O-P-S - Bitch!
A-C-I-D-G-U-M-D-R-O-P-S - Bitch!
A-C-I-D-G-U-M-D-R-O-P-S - Bitch!
A-C-I-D-G-U-M-D-R-O-P-S

Prainbork © All rights reserved.
Track Name: Bonbon BBQ
BONBON BBQ

Verse 1:
Slice and dice and chop the onions
Don’t forget to bring some good ole’ Funions
If you’re out just use Paul Bunyan’s
BONBON BARBEQUE!

Deep fried lice for the Sasquatch soup
Little green mice from Timbuktu
Little Betty Boop yelled Boop Boop Bedoop
BONBON BARBEQUE!

Verse 2:
Tuna fish cookies for the monster casserole
Stir it all in with a stripper pole
Sop it all up with a pan de sal roll!
BONBON BARBEQUE!

Don’t forget - eat your green hell greens
Carrots and taters ain’t all obscene
Spinach and broccoli make sure you rinse clean!
BONBON BARBEQUE! Yeah!

Bridge:
You might be wondering why the song changed so dramatically
But to tell you the truth I don’t have an answer for you
Maybe I’m subconsciously trying to be super radio friendly
So that a major-record-label-big-wig can hear and steal this part
Then he’ll find a band of cool kids
With tats and piercings and dyed black hair
That covers one eye – they work so hard
To prove to the world that they don’t care

Outro:
BONBON BARBEQUE!
HELLO, WHO ARE YOU?
BONBON BARBEQUE!
HEY BLUE! THERE’S A CLUE!

Prainbork © All rights reserved.
Track Name: Kitchen Strife
KITCHEN STRIFE

Verse 1:
Tragedy has come into the mess of a kitchen
A full blown war all started from a’bitchin’
A food fight occurred of the literal kind
MY OH MY! THE FOOD CAME ALIVE!
Dirty dishes were neglected they grew green white hair
Moldy pots with polka dots the stench is in the air!

The milk’s a punchin’ the punch
And the peach is a’whippin’ the yolk
The cream’s a’crematin’ carrots
Salami’s a’chokin artichokes
Bludgeoned by bologna
Are the berries that buried the bananas
That a’blasted the beans with bazookas and cream
The above was blown up by Merganser
Boom!

Verse 2:
This yummy story gets more gory as I tell you more-y
He had a talk show and that’s NOW WHY I HAVE A-D-D!
Where does green mold come from? How can it be alive?
Where did WE all come from? GOOD JOB! GIMME FIVE!

Bridge/Outro/Chorus:
They scream, they squirm, no calories were saved
Ten dozen dead in their Jello pudding grave
I SAW THEIR MIGHT IN THE COLDNESS OF THE NIGHT
The fridge door was left ajar and there was war…

yo-o, yo-o, yo-o-o-o-o-o
yo-o, yo-o, yo-o-o-o-o-o
yo-o, yo-o, yo-o-o-o-o-o
yo-o, yo-o-o-o-o…

Prainbork © All rights reserved.